Now this looks like something I would expect to see in the great state of Texas.

I have some bad news and some good news depending on how you look at it.

The Irishman is going to be gone for about 2 months or so and will not be posting again, probably in August. I have enjoyed blogging with all of you and want you to know I consider you to be my friends, even though we have never met.

I have been on a bus run for a few days and then got sick for a few more and am just now starting to feel like being up and doing something worthwhile. Think I will go and lay down for a while.

Dana I still wonder if a Baptist will take a Mormon fishing.

Foam I will miss your comments. I feel it would be a real pleasure to meet you some day buttttttttttttttttttttttt it is nice to know you in cyberspace.

I will still check in on all of your websites once in a while and maybe leave a comment or two.

Next week we leave on a trip to New Mexico and California. Not exactly a vacation trip but will try and enjoy it. We will be bringing back 4 grandchildren with us which will keep the summer interesting.

I cannot leave without posting another of my silly jokes or stories. Sorry.
***********************************************************************************
RESPONDING TO WOMEN'S CONCERNS

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer
chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast
implants.

The iTit will cost $499 to $599 depending on speaker size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have
always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening
to them.
*************************************************************************************

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full
potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blonds, but women in general...and all in the
name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blond yells, "You stay out of this mister! I'm talking to that little sh*t on your lap."
*************************************************************************************

I am sure I have more to say but will close for now.
Have a nice day everyone.

The Cruise
>
> An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
> They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a
> wave came up and washed the old man overboard.
>
> They searched for days and couldn't find him, so the Captain
> sent the old woman back to shore, with the promise that he
> would notify her as soon as they found something.
>
> Three weeks went by and finally, the old woman got a fax from the
> boat. It read: Ma'am, sorry to inform you that we found your husband
> dead, at the bottom of the ocean.
>
> We hauled him up to the deck, and attached to his butt was
> an oyster, and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000....please advise.
>
> The old woman faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.
***********************************************************************************
A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT



They were together in the House.

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly


and

each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and


wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her

from the storm.



Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and

expected her to pull back.


He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...



They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were


they in their FEAR that they heard no opening


of doors...just the faint click of a camera......


************************************************************************************

Don't have time to write so will post these for your pleasure.

Have a nice day everyone.

I need some good pictures to post. My digital camera is a cheapy and doesn't take very good pictures so I don't use it. Cheryl is stingy and won't let me buy anymore toys until she gets a bedroom set. I don't know what is so bad about sleeping on the floor... she has a mattress for crying out loud and boxes to put her frillys in.

I greatly appreciate all who read my blog. Your comments are welcome and enjoyed. I was asked on my last blog posting what variety of tomatoes I plant. RED ONES!!! Is there any other kind? (I know, once a smart butt always a smart butt.) I just purchase and plant. The only difference in types is cherry and regular.

Aleaha this is mainly for you since I know you read this drivel. Thanks for your email and I will bet Lance is happy to be back in the United States. Sharon and Larry probably sighed a sigh of relief also.

I did not know A.J. and Rosemary were doing that well physically to consider a mission. I have this friend named FOAM whom they could go visit. Ha, ha, ha.

Yes, I have been to Cabela's in Alpine. I keep thinking of Lehi and didn't realize they call it Alpine. It is definitely a store to see.

Cheryl and I had been to Aunt Verba's and Uncle Cecil's grave and place also. Dana is right... it is a mess. The University of Wyoming people are not taking care of it at all. We looked in the big house and were shocked at the condition. Everything is run down and ill kept.

When will we stop in SLC and visit? Now there is a good question. Since moving to Downey I have gotten so laid back that the thoughts of going to a large city just repulses me. Seeing more than two cars on the roads here is making me feel crowded anymore.

Please stop in when you go to Driggs. Mercy you are getting OLD to be having a 40 year anniversary.

Conard Jensen stopped in the other day and filled us in on his parents. He was telling us of Sharon and Larry having some problems with people doing bad things to their house in Darby. What has happened to that valley? It used to be such a lovely place. Now I have no desire to go there.

Okay enough for Aleaha.

I imagine everyone is shedding lots of tears over the Paris Hilton abuse by our legal system. Such a sweet, young, upstanding example of a lady. How could they do that to her?

Okay I have said enough for today. This will probably be my only blog this week. Cheryl leaves tomorrow morning for girls camp, I have bus training tomorrow and then the rest of the week I take a group of young people to SLC for youth conference. Busy, busy, busy and no time for a nap.

Have a nice day everyone.

This is a picture of Grandpa's little helper. I was planting tomatos and she just had to be there as well. If I can find the picture of my other little helper I will post that as well.

This will be extremely short. I have a Ham Radio test at noon today and I NEED to study. My church just called and want me to teach Sunday School this Sunday and the lesson is on hypocrisy. They sure picked the largest hypocrite to teach that one. Should be an interesting Sunday.

Hooray, hooray, hooray. I finally put my pontoon boat in the water, didn't catch any fish 'cause I wasn't there that long, butttttttttttttt, I did get some rowing practice in. I have never rowed a boat in my life and I think I covered every inch of the water trying to get back to shore. Cheryl felt so bad that she finally agreed to let me get a motor for it so we went and did that yesterday afternoon. I should be a happy man now... that is if I can catch some fish.

Watched my favorite movie star of all times last night, John Wayne, in the movie "The Searchers". Yes, it was a good day yesterday.

Got to get moving or time will run out on me. I will leave you with this from a Catholic school teacher... many of you probably have seen it.

Oh, by the way, welcome "Mountain Mama" to my blog. Good to have another genealogist on board. I have been trying to put the bug in some of my blogging friends but so far no takers. Aleaha thanks for the note. Is that Cabela's store in Alpine, Wyoming? Sarah (iowamom) sorry for not answering your questions. I don't know the lady you asked about. I have got to get my lazy hindend doing more research on the Lewis line. Now about the school teacher....
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tattooremover.wmv Check out this site to learn how to remove a tattoo. Cootie bug you better read this.
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The Catholic School teacher was sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS.
THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED A STRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN C OMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA . THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EX PLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Kids, you gotta love them.
*************************************************************************************




This was Grandpa's other little helper that day. She wasn't too sure about the dirt and the grass felt funny to her.

Have a nice day everyone.

Isn't this a gorgeous picture? I make butterflies out of 2 liter soda bottles and this will definitely be one of my patterns.

Well the weekend is over and I hope everyone made it back home safely and soberly. Lots of barbeques going on and good food consumed. Me, I got a bowl of cold cereal, a cold hot dog and a comment to be grateful for what I got or I could fix my own. (Just kidding) We didn't do much this past weekend. Went to our daughters place in Paradise, UT and visited with them for an afternoon but that was the highlight of our weekend. Cheryl is out of school and just bursting with projects to get done around the house. I am trying to find something to put in her food so she will slow down and let me get my rest.

I bought a pontoon boat over a month ago and it has yet to see the water. Either the wind has been blowing like all the politicians in Utah are talking at once or I have been off doing other things. Maybe this week.

Now listen, the squirrel remedy is supposed to work and I am sure hoping so because I need to keep them out of my garden. Last year they mowed down my beet tops like a lawn mower. I know if you hang a 3/4 can of beer where wasps and yellowjackets are they are attracted to the beer and drown themselves. Of course they do it with a large smile on the faces.

I don't know if my sister Aleaha reads these anymore since we don't hear from her anymore. If she didn't read my blogs I would share some family secrets... NOT!!

Well Cheryl says I have to clean the garage today, finish planting the garden and still do my 200 names of indexing. She plans on taking it easy. Sure wish some of you folks would get involved in genealogy and help with this indexing of the 1900 census. It is a BIG project and open to anyone.

Just got a chance to watch the movie Eragon and it was good. However after reading both the books the movie leaves out sooooooo much that I felt I missed too much. Oh well. Tonight is another John Wayne movie... yeah THE DUKE!!! There will never be another John Wayne, never. Rough, tough, lover of horses, sometimes mean to the bone and yet cool, suave and romantic for the women. Oh yeah, the Duke.

Here is another tip about taking care of ticks should you happen to be out in the woods and gather some.
*************************************************************************************

Tick Warning

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it
myself a couple times unintentionally... but this one is real, and it's
important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks
due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance
around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want
to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this email yesterday. I feel so stupid.
************************************************************************************

Have a nice day everyone.

Just a brief note. I was visiting Pamela's site and wanted to pass on some information if so desired. To keep squirrels out of the bird feeder just sprinkle black pepper around or in the feeder. Birds cannot tell it is there but squirrels don't like the smell and will not go near it. Just a thought. That clematis is beautiful. Will it grow in cold country (5000 ft)? My wife would love that.
Behave yourself this weekend.

Since a certain young woman I know of is going camping this weekend, and from the description of the food supply she will probably wander out into the wilderness and pick up some ticks; I thought she should know this information. Hmmmmmmm.
*************************************************************************************


Subject: Removing Wood Ticks


This is a good thing to know for any of us living, picnicking, camping

or just being in the woods etc. At least it is worth a try.



Please forward to anyone with children or hunters, etc!! Thanks!

A pediatrician tells he believes is the best way to remove a tick. This

is great, because it works in those places where it's sometimes difficult

to get to with tweezers: between toes, in the middle of a head full of dark hair, etc.

"Apply a glob of liquid soap to a cotton ball. Cover the tick with the soap-soaked

cotton ball and let it stay on the repulsive insect for a few seconds (15-20),

after which the tick will come out on it's own and be stuck to the cotton ball

when you lift it away. This technique has worked every time I've used it (and that was

frequently), and it's much less traumatic for the patient and easier for me.

Unless someone is allergic to soap, I can't see that this would be damaging

in any way. I even had my doctor's wife call me for advice because she had

one stuck to her back and she couldn't reach it with tweezers. She used

this method and immediately called me back to say, "It worked!"

Please pass on; everyone needs this helpful hint.
*************************************************************************************

Not much to say today so will close with this....

Have a nice day everyone.

Personally I prefer the "dead" part 'cause exercising is too painful.

I am not writing much today since I have to get busy and install a dishwasher for Cheryl. She doesn't know I got it for her so it will be a surprise. It just breaks my heart to see the poor woman washing and putting away dishes each night while I watch TV. I helped her out this morning though; I cooked breakfast, ( a bagle and cold cereal), and took the wet clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer. I am such a goooooooooood husband. Okay here goes:
*************************************************************************************
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole & the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it-- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
*************************************************************************************
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given
name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
morning, Onestone."
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from
exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone.

She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love
to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next
day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!


Wait for it





OH, Come on...take a guess!




Think about it...


(You're going to love this!)








And the moral is...





You can't kill two birds with one stone!!
*************************************************************************************

Ha,ha,ha,ha. I crack myself up.

Have a nice day everyone.

I woke up this morning and what did I see? Certainly not popcorn popping on the apricot tree. I went HO,HO,HO and a big BAH HUMBUG. It was snowing very large flakes. Sure glad I don't have to go out in this mess today. Actually we are very happy to see the snow. This has been a very dry winter and we have little snow pack to provide water for the crops and gardens.

Foam, I read your post about your experience when you were younger and it sent chills up and down my spine. My word girl, how fortunate to have your brother show up and the right time. Happenings of that nature just make my blood boil 'cause I can see my daughters, granddaughters in the same situation. Mercy!!!

By the way Foam, young buddy of mine, I liked the picture and with all the other hints you have provided I can tell you are a very attractive person. School teachers were not that good looking when I went to school so your students better appreciate you. My teachers were of the grandmother vintage and with the disposition of Oscar the Grouch. That was back in the days when they could lay hands on us for discipline and believe you me I had hands laid on me many times. They just couldn't see that I was truly a sweet loving little angel.

Pamela I have a question for you. Did you design the picture you have on your blog? It is quite a well thought out picture with you name written the way you did. By the way did I ever tell you that you are a very attractive lady also? Actually as I think about it all the ladies I blog with are very attractive, even the Australians.:) They are wild and attractive.

Well the snow is dwindling outside so I have to lie down just in case some burst of energy comes over me. Last night a group of us got together and sampled packages of dehydrated food to put in a 72 hour pack in case of emergencies. This food is found in sporting goods stores and was very tasty. This morning I prepared Cheryl a breakfast of scambled eggs and bacon using one of those packages. The eggs were quite good but the bacon... yech. I might have to go to town and check out what is available today. That sounds like more fun than working around the house.
*************************************************************************************

Tips from the Redneck Book of Manners


1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private
using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger food.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
(Always a good opener)
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as,"ya sure don't sweat much for a fat woman."

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession
*************************************************************************************

I apologoze if I have posted this before. My memory is failing and I have to do what I have to do or I will forget what to do if I remember what I want to do.

Mayden's Voyage, I don't know if you still visit me or not but if you do you will appreciate the Redneck Manners.

Have a nice day everyone.

Self Portrait

No message today. I know many of you are wondering just who the Rambling Irishman is so I decided to post a portrait of myself.






Have a nice day everyone.

Boy does this picture remind me of MY school days. We had desks that looked just like that.

I know all you educators are feeling somewhat sad because school is ending or has ended. No longer will you hear the pitter patter of little feet (or some big ones) running down the hall. No more will there be the constant yelling, screaming,laughing and some crying during recess. No more will you get to see the look of exasperation as one cannot quite grasp the concept you are teaching. And, then there is the look of "Oh yeah, I get it." which comes when a concept is realized. In Foam's case the pictures created and the variety of looks on a certain subject. Yep, you are probably already missing those little darlings and wish August would hurry up and get here.

What does a vacation do for you? You lie around and get a tan, weed your lawn and garden, go on long boring trips, put up with the spouse all day, do a little fishing, and life will be boring, boring, boring. Bring back school.

Okay I have had my say so will close with this that someone sent me. I don't know if it is true but it ought to be and I hope it is.
************************************************************************************
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

(This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent: Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work: Press 2

To complain about what we do: Press 3

To swear at staff members: Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you: Press 5

If you want us to raise your child: Press 6

If you want us to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone: Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year: Press 8

To complain about bus transportation: Press 9

To complain about school lunches: Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.

If you can read this, thank a teacher!

If you are reading it in English - thank a veteran!
*************************************************************************************

I was going to save this next little bit for another day but I liked it too much.

*************************************************************************************
How to speak Chinese in 3 minutes
Ok read the English meanings and then OUT LOUD say the chinese
words...
You MUST read them out loud or it doesn't make as much sense)...


1) That's not right........ Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.............. Kum Hiah Nah o
5) Small horse.................. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?.................... Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table................. Ai Bang Mai Fre Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...................... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here........................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching
12) staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile................ Wa Shing Kah
14) Your body odor is offensive.................. Yu Stin Ki Pu
*************************************************************************************

Have a nice day everyone.

I am sure most of you have seen this picture. I received it the other day and was so impressed that the flag is made completely out of flowers, living flowers.

It just dawned on me that I have not posted since Monday. I thought it was just yesterday. My how time flies when you are having fun; by fun I mean weeding, watering, planting and all sorts of "honey do's".

I was driving down the road the other week, (in my bus), and was watching the flies hit the window. Self, I thought, what a great subject for a blog.

Have you ever noticed that when you clean your windows one of the first bugs to hit it is a big, yellow something or other and it always hits dead center of your line of site. That way you have to keep moving your head to look around the gooey mess splattered all over the place so you can see the road better.

I just love driving through where the bees are busy at work. Stupid bees. One would think they would have enough intelligence to stay sucking on a delicious flower as opposed to checking out the speeding vehicle coming down the road. Oh no, they have to call all their little buddies and make a mass suicide attack so the vehicle is amply covered in their body parts.

Then there are the black flies that are just bigger than a gnat. They like to pepper the windshield like rain drops only they don't wipe off quite as well. I had one the other day that committed suicide and died a very happy bug. He hit at the top of the window and slid all the way down to the bottom with a big grin on his face. It reminded me of cartoons.

I cannot quit this drivel without speaking about the wasps. They are sneaky. They watch for drivers who are coming down the road with their windows open and their arm hanging out. Usually the shirt sleeve is flapping and makes a great scoop for wasps to enter into the shirt. How do I know this? Well I am a victim you see. I was driving along in an 18 wheeler one day and all of a sudden I felt a sharp burning sensation on my back. Not only did I feel it once but a total of three times. I slammed on the brakes, jumped out of the cab and started undressing right there in the middle of the road. Sure enough, a wasp had entered my shirt and was having lunch at Delaney's cafe. Well the food was bad cause he was never heard from again.

Okay, enough of the bug talk. I was out watering the lawn yesterday morning when two very large hawks flew up on a pole fairly close to me and proceeded to have a conversation. It was awesome. Turned out that one had caught a mouse and wanted the other to have it. Beautiful birds.

Bored yet? I am in a mood and could go on for a while if you wish.
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Just had this sent to me and thought I would share it. Good for those 40 or older and it even works in Australia.

Exercise for older adults.

Just came across this exercise suggested for older adults, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my friends. The article suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.

Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.
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Have a nice day everyone.

Cheryl says this is what I resemble when I want to be fed. Hmmmmmm.

I am officially fired for the year. My last trip got taken away from me because the bus broke down and there are no more trips this year. I cannot believe I am feeling somewhat blue about it. I have never enjoyed a job like I have enjoyed this one. Maybe summer will go really fast and I will be back behind the wheel before I know it.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. I would like to know if this is just a United States special day or do other countries celebrate Mother's Day as well?

We had a good time. On Saturday we went out to dinner and took in a movie, Spiderman 3. I promised Cheryl I would get her a new fishing pole (her request) but the stores were so crowded that we just didn't feel like doing it then.

We are finding that since moving to a small town we are becoming more and more removed from the hustle and bustle of the larger cities. I think we are getting old. We really enjoy setting at home and relaxing, going to the post office and watching some of the locals ride their horses through town, saying hi to most everyone we meet and doing some chatting with them. Yep, I like the small town lifestyle. Oh, it has it's problems too but we choose to ignore them.

I keep telling myself I don't know what I am going to do now that I have all this free time on my hands. Sure I could go and do yard work, work in the garden, paint the deck, paint the house, and so on but that doesn't sound like fun at all. One thing I will do is more indexing for genealogy. I have not been too active in that lately and I need to get going again. Actually I think I will go and lie down until this ambitious feeling goes away.

I think I will go get a bottle of red wine, put on some REAL good cologne, practice my best French accent and be ready for Cheryl comes she home from work. However I don't think any of that will work. I don't drink wine, I don't wear cologne, I'm Irish not French and Cheryl would just laugh and say here is a quarter call me in the morning. Sigh... keep on dreaming Timmy boy.

Have a nice day everyone.

Since this is Mother's Day weekend AND since I will be gone for the rest of the week I wanted to post the following on my blog for all of you who are or will be mothers. Happy Mother's Day from the Irishman.














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Have a nice day everyone.

This is an old picture of the ladies of my household, the year I don't remember.


This is a picture of the two youngest ones with their fiesty old mother. This picture was taken this year. What happened to my sweet innocent darlings?



This is a picture of the complete group of women that are in my life now, minus a daughter-in-law and one granddaughter. Great bunch if I do say so.

I took the baseball team to a competition last Saturday that was more fitted for skiing. The wind blew 30+ mph, the snow came, the rain came but the game went on. It was so cold that at the 4th inning I went and sat on the bus. No sense me getting frostbite is there? Wouldn't you know it but the next day was sunny and beautiful with no wind. I went to church and gave thanks.

I have to leave for another trip in just a few minutes so this will be short. Come May 24th and it all ends for this year. Unlike many teachers who are looking forward to school ending, I must say I will miss it and look forward to the fall. I have the best job I have had in years.

Let me see if I have anything worth leaving today...
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Understanding Engineers

For those of you who have difficulty understanding the engineer's mindset!!!

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
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Have a nice day everyone.

Well it finally happened. I had a feeling things were getting kind of too tense around here but Cheryl finally added the straw that broke the camel's back. We are filing for a divorce after 41 years of marriage.

Why, you might ask. Well, I will tell you that Cheryl is not the sweet loveable person everyone thinks she is that is why. She is mean and rotten right down to the very core. What she did to me this morning was inexcusable and there is no forgiveness.

Did she step out on me? Noooo. Did she physically abuse me? Nooooo. Did she mentally abuse me? Noooo, but it was something that will take me a long time to recover from. So what did she do that was so bad? SHE STOLE MY BACON!!! It wasn't a little piece, noooooo, it was the whole plate and then she laughed about it. I am so mentally distraught that I can hardly finish this blog. I just wanted to let you know so you could offer some words of comfort and good advice on how to handle the situation.

The worst part is that on Sunday I got up in front of a lot of people and told them what a wonderful woman she was. How am I going to face the embarrassment? (Have you ever noticed that the older you get the worse your spelling gets?)

I'm sorry but I just can't go on this morning and I had a wonderful blog planned.
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Golfing and a Frog

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers : Please scroll down.

...
...
...
...
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife .

Moral of the story: Women just think they're really smart.


Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
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Have a nice day everyone.

My toes tell me that too.

I just finished watching the movie "Night At The Museum" and quite liked it. It was a bit on the corny side but at least it was clean cut and one that children could watch with no problems.

Well, we gave our talks today on marriage and everyone seemed to like them quite a bit. I am including in this blog a copy of a humourus story that Cheryl told. I think for the most part you will like it.

We went out to our Son-in-law and daughters house that they are building. It is coming along nicely but a lot slower than they expected. Isn't that always the case though. It will be very nice when it is finished.

Saturday I cleaned up on the yard quite a bit, mowed the grass, tried to get a better watering system working and dreamed of going fishing. I was so tired Saturday night that when the kids all arrived to spend the weekend I just said, "Good to see you and good night."

It is Sunday night now and I am still very tired so I will say goodbye for today and hope this finds you all doing well.
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CURTAIN RODS----PRICELESS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates
and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU
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Have a nice day everyone.

This is my idea of exercising too.

Not much to say today. Tis a beautiful morning with the sun shining brightly, the birds are singing, the squirrels are at the door begging... wonder what the next half hour will bring? Probably snow.

Didn't do much yesterday and yet I feel very tired today. Go figure. I didn't even get up to fix Cheryl breakfast before she went to work. I'm sure glad she doesn't have my attitude. She always fixes my breakfast.

Since I don't have much to say this fine day I will close with this interesting bit I received about Minnesotans.
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Minnesotans

Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near Duluth. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere." says Sven.

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pays for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of some big cliffs near Two Harbors.

At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot drop and say s, "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."

VAIT!!! Dere's MORE!

Moments later Knute who's been to the pet shop too, arrive s at the cliffs. He walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag and a shotgun. "Hey, Ole. Vatch dis." Knute says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Ole watches as half way
down, Knute takes the gun and shoots the parrot and continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."

BUT VAIT!!! Dere's MORE, you betcha!!

Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag and pulls out a chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it over his head, and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down and hits a
rock and lays there lifeless.

Once more Ole shakes his head...."First der was Sven with his budgie jumping, den Knute parrotshooting ,.and now Lars hengliding....."
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Have a nice day everyone.

Cheryl got this picture from a Red Hat member and I liked it enough to post it today and let all of you know how I feel about you.

Not much to tell today so this will be very short. It has been raining and snowing here and today looks like more of the same. Cheryl has just left to go to work and will be gone all day so I can get a decent nap in for a change. Tonight we are having a group of people over for Family Home Evening and are having a pizza party. Yum, yum.

Hope this finds all of you well and happy. Keep in touch.

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Being a Mother

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a
baby.
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct...
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ...
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices....
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf
ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions
in the books.
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery ...
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of
kindergarten...or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied
behind her back.
Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home....
Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.
Somebody isn't a mother.
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Someone sent me this picture and I thought it was good enough to share. If I am repeating myself with some of my blogging I apologize and blame it on Cheryl.:)


Have a nice day everyone.

I know I have posted this picture before but with spring cleaning coming and the many yard sales that come with it I just had to post it one more time.

Hope everyone is feeling well this fine day. I got home about 10:30 pm from my run with the softball team. By the time the second game was over the girls just wanted it to end so they could get warm. I had the best seat in the house 'cause I parked the bus where I could sit in my seat and watch in relative comfort. Heh, heh, heh.

Foam how are you doing? When I read your blog it seems like you were not doing too well physically... we already know the mental part left a long time ago.

Pam I enjoy your comments as well. You strike me as a very interesting person and one that would be fun to know.

Where are the Australian ladies? Where is Alice? Where is Tigersue? Where is Luce? Where is UKBob? Where is is Dana? (Working probably) Gosh I miss all you guys. Have my blogs became that boring? Where is LOWA? Where is The Insane Mind? Better yet where is the Ramblin Irishman? He went out to lunch and forgot to come back. I probably have left someone out and I apologize but I miss hearing from all your good people.

Got to take the track team to a meet today unless they cancel. This week has been full of cancelations due to the weather.

Did I mention that my boss is a Ham Radio operator and wants me to get my license back? Yep, I am working on it although the old mind gets fatigued quite easily. Cheryl and I used to teach individuals how to market themselves in today's work market and one thing we always stressed was to never stop learning. It didn't matter whether it was formal education or just learning for the fun of it... never stop. So I guess that is why I do some of the things I do.

Got to close and get going so will close with this bit of wisdom....

Who Packs Your Parachute?

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb..

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, " I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these! supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

Have a nice day everyone.

A friend of mine sent these pictures to me and they are too choice to not share them with you. Apparently after the horses moved on the doe (mother deer) came out and took the fawn with her. Choice, very choice.

I apologize for not reading more blogs than I have. I feel good to squeeze in my drivel let alone read some good blogs. I have not heard from the ladies in Australia for a long time; hope they are fine.

If you live in Idaho very long you will know not to expect winter to be over just yet. The farmers have been doing their thing and gardeners have been doing their thing and lawns have been getting mowed for the first time this year. I even put the water on my lawn for the first time... silly me. The very next day we had snow, snow, snow. I took a group of golfers to a large competition and they played in the snow, snow, snow. Today I am supposed to take the baseball team to a competition but again we are having snow but who knows what this afternoon will bring. Ah Idaho, I love it.

Guess I will close with this story sent to me by a friend in Idaho Falls. Only in Texas could THIS happen.:)

Church Organist

There was a church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist.
Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the
organ.
Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be
done about this or they would have to get another organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up
some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would
shrink in size, but warned her not to eat any of the green persimmons;
because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't
be able to talk properly for a while. She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up to the pulpit and, after an
uncomfortable moment of hesitation, trying to cover his embarassment, said,

"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol there will be no thermon tewday".

Have a nice day everyone.

After all the hulabaloo about global warming someone finally got a picture of why the icecaps are melting.

This is the only time this week for me to blog and this has to be short. Cheryl is off exercising with a group of women while I stay home and play on the computer. Her Parkinson has been acting up and she is not feeling too good lately. I guess I will have to find more work for her to do to keep her mind off it.

We have been doing fine actually, just busy. Of course here in the Northern Hemisphere it is spring and we are all busy with gardens, fishing, lawns, fishing and fishing. It really chaps my hide when work interferes with fishing but I adjust.

Have missed hearing from many of you. I look forward to the daily comments and reading your blogs. Dana, thank you for the fishing information. I have got to find where to catch crappie. My friend in California said the same thing about eating them. Lowa it was good to hear from you, it has been a LONG time. It amazes me how many people have never heard of chokecherries but then maybe they are indiginous to the mountain country only. For those who have not heard of them they are a small tree cherry that I have only found in the wild although I see where Gurney's catalog offers them. We are going to get a couple of plants and see how we do. The berry itself is very bitter and makes you pucker big time, but when made into a syrup or jelly it is simply delicious.

Bubba I don't let Cheryl read your comments. I have enough trouble keeping her at bay about an ATV as it is. We all know that men rule and women drool so they have to wait until men have all their toys. (Now there was a sexist remark if I ever seen one.) If it wasn't for us having to buy a better vehicle she would have had her ATV by now.

Our Bishop has asked Cheryl and I to give a talk next Sunday on marriage. He must think we have a good one or something. If only he knew how abusive she is with me. Today, for example, she made me get out of bed at the crack of dawn so she could cut all my hair off my head. Abusive, I am telling you. The other day she accompanied me on a trip with the school kids. We didn't get home until 1:00am and the woman would not let me sleep at all while driving the bus. How rude!! I asked for pancakes and eggs for breakfast, she insisted that I have hash browns, bacon, eggs, hot chocolate and toast. I never get my way. I cut a couple of trees down in our yard (that she really liked) and she now holds a grudge. Every time I turn around she is reminding me of those trees. Abusive, I am telling you.



















Well, enough of my trials and tribulations. Guess I will close with this thought....

This happened to be on a flight getting ready to depart for New Orleans.

Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked.

"I've been transferred to New Orleans, there's crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate."

Jack replied, "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as any where in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."



Have a nice day everyone.

I know this picture depicts only women but believe you me my body said exactly the same thing.

I was thinking the other day (yes, I think once in a while) that I need to post a picture of me and my bus. After all it sees more of me than my wife does lately. My boss told me that vacation time was over and that for the next two months I would be gone more than being at home. BRING IT ON!!!

I hope everyone had a very nice Easter. I am curious if Easter is celebrated down in Australia and over in England. I know Canada does not because they are bad children and on the black list of Easter goodies. Even Santa refuses to go there.:) So if any of you nice people are still reading my drivel please let me know. We went over and visited our children in Paradise, Utah, attended church services with them and then had a wonderful meal. The kids all searched for candy and got VERY hyper on the sugar. I was glad when the time to go home came although I did enjoy the visit. My kids bought them an ATV and of course I had to ride it. I worry about Cheryl though. She has wanted one of them for a long time now. I think her "wanting fire" has been stoked up some more.

Did I mention that Cheryl agreed to let me buy a pontoon float tube boat? BRING ON THE FISH. Now I am looking for an electric motor to put on it so I don't have to work so hard. Yes, I am lazy. I can hardly wait to try it out but since it is stormy today it won't be this Monday. Speaking of fishing.............., Dana if you are still reading my blog, and I hope you are, I need some advice about Bass fishing. What kind of lures are best, what kind of spots do I look for, how do you prepare them for eating, do you have to skin them first? If I don't hear from you I will start emailing until you finally give in and tell me.

You know I am still thinking about Pamela and that Marine comment. Hmmmmmm.

UK Bob, can I plant tomatoes in a container and have them come out well or is it best to not mess with containers? How often should a person water tomatoes? I think I over-water. We just were given some bush cherries to plant and I sure am hoping they will grow and flourish 'cause bush cherries make the best syrup and jelly.

My wife spoils me. Got up this morning to a breakfast of french toast smothered in chokecherry syrup, eggs, and last but certainly the best, BACON, BACON, BACON. Of course that was topped off with a cinnamon roll and ice cold milk. Yum, yum.

Got to get going. Been nice writing to you.

Have a nice day everyone.

Now isn't this like we Americans? Complain about privacy................ yeah.

Just a short update on what Cheryl and I are doing. The past two days we spent driving around the area finding and looking at fishing res??? places. In one day we found 12 places with fair to good fishing all within 35 miles or so of the house. Since that got me all excited Cheryl agreed to let me purchase a pontoon boat. Now I am really excited. If I start catching fish like I hope it will be orgasmic. (I can't believe I actually said that.)

Today we went to the Mormon temple in Logan, Utah and attended a session. Then we spent the day shopping, one of my most favorite things to do............NOT!!! My back was hurting so bad that I had to ride the little electric buggys around the store which made me look like a wuusss. Big old healthy looking guy making those poor little old ladies hoof it. NYAH, NYAH. I got to it first.

Oh, by the way Pamela I am trying to decipher just what you meant about spending the weekend with the marines. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Spicy old broad anyway.

Vacation time is over and tomorrow I hit the road again. My boss told me to hang on cause I will be running my buttocks off. I don't mind though cause it will only last another two months and then summertime hits and no work.

Let me see if I have a story or poem to leave you with.

Where Are the Wicked Folk Buried?
'Tell me, grey-haired sexton,' said I,
'Where in the field are the wicked folk laid?
I have wandered the quiet old graveyard through,
And studied the epitaphs, old and new,
But on monument, obelisk, pillar, or stone,
I read no evil that men have done.'
The old sexton stood by a grave newly made,
With his chin on his hand, his hand on a spade:
'Who is the judge when the soul takes its flight?
Who is the judge 'twixt the wrong and the right?
Which of us mortals shall dare to say
That our neighbor was wicked who died to-day?'
'In our journey through life, the farther we speed,
The better we learn that humility's need
Is charity's spirit that prompts us to find
Rather virtue than vice in the lives of our kind.'
'Therefore good deeds we record on these stones;
The evil men do, let it rest with their bones'
I have labored as sexton this many a year,
But I never have buried a bad man here.'
-- From "Journal of the Association for the Preservation of the
Memorials of the Dead in Ireland," Vol. 2, Part 1 (1895)

Have a nice day everyone.

You know I am not a political minded person but sometimes you see things that are just too good to pass up. It states it so well.

I must say thanks to Iran for releasing the British sailors. Of course I must also say that if you didn't the British would kick your ignorant arses.

I feel so good today. Gasoline just went up another 5 or 6 cents. Thank you oil companies for making impossible for the little people to take vacations due to high gasoline prices. Thank you Senators and Representatives for sitting on your collective arses and doing nothing about it. We elected you on your promise to do better and you have fulfilled our wildest dreams by not listening to a thing we say. All of you are rich people and could care less about the poor or lower middle class. Gosh, just think it won't be long until you can start telling your lies on TV and throughout the country. We love it and will keep electing you. Why? Because the other guy or woman is worse,in our opinion. If our elected officials are our best it makes me shudder to think of what the worst would be like.

How did I get on this kick anyway? Must be Luce's fault.

Went fishing, caught one, he got away... maybe it was a she. Miserable weather.

A friend of mine sent me this about a school in West Virginia and it is just too good to pass up. Enjoy.

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND.

You cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes
written by parents in a WV school district. Spellings have been left
intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please
execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.


3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.


7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered
by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre
dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea,
and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because
i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to
get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We
thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has
been sick and under the doctor.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

Have a nice day everyone.