Saturday, April 28, 2007

My toes tell me that too.

I just finished watching the movie "Night At The Museum" and quite liked it. It was a bit on the corny side but at least it was clean cut and one that children could watch with no problems.

Well, we gave our talks today on marriage and everyone seemed to like them quite a bit. I am including in this blog a copy of a humourus story that Cheryl told. I think for the most part you will like it.

We went out to our Son-in-law and daughters house that they are building. It is coming along nicely but a lot slower than they expected. Isn't that always the case though. It will be very nice when it is finished.

Saturday I cleaned up on the yard quite a bit, mowed the grass, tried to get a better watering system working and dreamed of going fishing. I was so tired Saturday night that when the kids all arrived to spend the weekend I just said, "Good to see you and good night."

It is Sunday night now and I am still very tired so I will say goodbye for today and hope this finds you all doing well.


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates
and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

Have a nice day everyone.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

This is my idea of exercising too.

Not much to say today. Tis a beautiful morning with the sun shining brightly, the birds are singing, the squirrels are at the door begging... wonder what the next half hour will bring? Probably snow.

Didn't do much yesterday and yet I feel very tired today. Go figure. I didn't even get up to fix Cheryl breakfast before she went to work. I'm sure glad she doesn't have my attitude. She always fixes my breakfast.

Since I don't have much to say this fine day I will close with this interesting bit I received about Minnesotans.


Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near Duluth. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere." says Sven.

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pays for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of some big cliffs near Two Harbors.

At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot drop and say s, "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."

VAIT!!! Dere's MORE!

Moments later Knute who's been to the pet shop too, arrive s at the cliffs. He walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag and a shotgun. "Hey, Ole. Vatch dis." Knute says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Ole watches as half way
down, Knute takes the gun and shoots the parrot and continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."

BUT VAIT!!! Dere's MORE, you betcha!!

Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag and pulls out a chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it over his head, and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down and hits a
rock and lays there lifeless.

Once more Ole shakes his head...."First der was Sven with his budgie jumping, den Knute parrotshooting ,.and now Lars hengliding....."

Have a nice day everyone.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Cheryl got this picture from a Red Hat member and I liked it enough to post it today and let all of you know how I feel about you.

Not much to tell today so this will be very short. It has been raining and snowing here and today looks like more of the same. Cheryl has just left to go to work and will be gone all day so I can get a decent nap in for a change. Tonight we are having a group of people over for Family Home Evening and are having a pizza party. Yum, yum.

Hope this finds all of you well and happy. Keep in touch.

Being a Mother

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct...
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ...
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices....
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf
ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions
in the books.
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery ...
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of
kindergarten...or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied
behind her back.
Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home....
Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.
Somebody isn't a mother.

Someone sent me this picture and I thought it was good enough to share. If I am repeating myself with some of my blogging I apologize and blame it on Cheryl.:)

Have a nice day everyone.

Friday, April 20, 2007

I know I have posted this picture before but with spring cleaning coming and the many yard sales that come with it I just had to post it one more time.

Hope everyone is feeling well this fine day. I got home about 10:30 pm from my run with the softball team. By the time the second game was over the girls just wanted it to end so they could get warm. I had the best seat in the house 'cause I parked the bus where I could sit in my seat and watch in relative comfort. Heh, heh, heh.

Foam how are you doing? When I read your blog it seems like you were not doing too well physically... we already know the mental part left a long time ago.

Pam I enjoy your comments as well. You strike me as a very interesting person and one that would be fun to know.

Where are the Australian ladies? Where is Alice? Where is Tigersue? Where is Luce? Where is UKBob? Where is is Dana? (Working probably) Gosh I miss all you guys. Have my blogs became that boring? Where is LOWA? Where is The Insane Mind? Better yet where is the Ramblin Irishman? He went out to lunch and forgot to come back. I probably have left someone out and I apologize but I miss hearing from all your good people.

Got to take the track team to a meet today unless they cancel. This week has been full of cancelations due to the weather.

Did I mention that my boss is a Ham Radio operator and wants me to get my license back? Yep, I am working on it although the old mind gets fatigued quite easily. Cheryl and I used to teach individuals how to market themselves in today's work market and one thing we always stressed was to never stop learning. It didn't matter whether it was formal education or just learning for the fun of it... never stop. So I guess that is why I do some of the things I do.

Got to close and get going so will close with this bit of wisdom....

Who Packs Your Parachute?

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb..

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, " I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these! supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

Have a nice day everyone.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

A friend of mine sent these pictures to me and they are too choice to not share them with you. Apparently after the horses moved on the doe (mother deer) came out and took the fawn with her. Choice, very choice.

I apologize for not reading more blogs than I have. I feel good to squeeze in my drivel let alone read some good blogs. I have not heard from the ladies in Australia for a long time; hope they are fine.

If you live in Idaho very long you will know not to expect winter to be over just yet. The farmers have been doing their thing and gardeners have been doing their thing and lawns have been getting mowed for the first time this year. I even put the water on my lawn for the first time... silly me. The very next day we had snow, snow, snow. I took a group of golfers to a large competition and they played in the snow, snow, snow. Today I am supposed to take the baseball team to a competition but again we are having snow but who knows what this afternoon will bring. Ah Idaho, I love it.

Guess I will close with this story sent to me by a friend in Idaho Falls. Only in Texas could THIS happen.:)

Church Organist

There was a church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist.
Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the
Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be
done about this or they would have to get another organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up
some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would
shrink in size, but warned her not to eat any of the green persimmons;
because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't
be able to talk properly for a while. She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up to the pulpit and, after an
uncomfortable moment of hesitation, trying to cover his embarassment, said,

"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol there will be no thermon tewday".

Have a nice day everyone.

Monday, April 16, 2007

After all the hulabaloo about global warming someone finally got a picture of why the icecaps are melting.

This is the only time this week for me to blog and this has to be short. Cheryl is off exercising with a group of women while I stay home and play on the computer. Her Parkinson has been acting up and she is not feeling too good lately. I guess I will have to find more work for her to do to keep her mind off it.

We have been doing fine actually, just busy. Of course here in the Northern Hemisphere it is spring and we are all busy with gardens, fishing, lawns, fishing and fishing. It really chaps my hide when work interferes with fishing but I adjust.

Have missed hearing from many of you. I look forward to the daily comments and reading your blogs. Dana, thank you for the fishing information. I have got to find where to catch crappie. My friend in California said the same thing about eating them. Lowa it was good to hear from you, it has been a LONG time. It amazes me how many people have never heard of chokecherries but then maybe they are indiginous to the mountain country only. For those who have not heard of them they are a small tree cherry that I have only found in the wild although I see where Gurney's catalog offers them. We are going to get a couple of plants and see how we do. The berry itself is very bitter and makes you pucker big time, but when made into a syrup or jelly it is simply delicious.

Bubba I don't let Cheryl read your comments. I have enough trouble keeping her at bay about an ATV as it is. We all know that men rule and women drool so they have to wait until men have all their toys. (Now there was a sexist remark if I ever seen one.) If it wasn't for us having to buy a better vehicle she would have had her ATV by now.

Our Bishop has asked Cheryl and I to give a talk next Sunday on marriage. He must think we have a good one or something. If only he knew how abusive she is with me. Today, for example, she made me get out of bed at the crack of dawn so she could cut all my hair off my head. Abusive, I am telling you. The other day she accompanied me on a trip with the school kids. We didn't get home until 1:00am and the woman would not let me sleep at all while driving the bus. How rude!! I asked for pancakes and eggs for breakfast, she insisted that I have hash browns, bacon, eggs, hot chocolate and toast. I never get my way. I cut a couple of trees down in our yard (that she really liked) and she now holds a grudge. Every time I turn around she is reminding me of those trees. Abusive, I am telling you.

Well, enough of my trials and tribulations. Guess I will close with this thought....

This happened to be on a flight getting ready to depart for New Orleans.

Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked.

"I've been transferred to New Orleans, there's crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate."

Jack replied, "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as any where in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."

Have a nice day everyone.

Monday, April 09, 2007

I know this picture depicts only women but believe you me my body said exactly the same thing.

I was thinking the other day (yes, I think once in a while) that I need to post a picture of me and my bus. After all it sees more of me than my wife does lately. My boss told me that vacation time was over and that for the next two months I would be gone more than being at home. BRING IT ON!!!

I hope everyone had a very nice Easter. I am curious if Easter is celebrated down in Australia and over in England. I know Canada does not because they are bad children and on the black list of Easter goodies. Even Santa refuses to go there.:) So if any of you nice people are still reading my drivel please let me know. We went over and visited our children in Paradise, Utah, attended church services with them and then had a wonderful meal. The kids all searched for candy and got VERY hyper on the sugar. I was glad when the time to go home came although I did enjoy the visit. My kids bought them an ATV and of course I had to ride it. I worry about Cheryl though. She has wanted one of them for a long time now. I think her "wanting fire" has been stoked up some more.

Did I mention that Cheryl agreed to let me buy a pontoon float tube boat? BRING ON THE FISH. Now I am looking for an electric motor to put on it so I don't have to work so hard. Yes, I am lazy. I can hardly wait to try it out but since it is stormy today it won't be this Monday. Speaking of fishing.............., Dana if you are still reading my blog, and I hope you are, I need some advice about Bass fishing. What kind of lures are best, what kind of spots do I look for, how do you prepare them for eating, do you have to skin them first? If I don't hear from you I will start emailing until you finally give in and tell me.

You know I am still thinking about Pamela and that Marine comment. Hmmmmmm.

UK Bob, can I plant tomatoes in a container and have them come out well or is it best to not mess with containers? How often should a person water tomatoes? I think I over-water. We just were given some bush cherries to plant and I sure am hoping they will grow and flourish 'cause bush cherries make the best syrup and jelly.

My wife spoils me. Got up this morning to a breakfast of french toast smothered in chokecherry syrup, eggs, and last but certainly the best, BACON, BACON, BACON. Of course that was topped off with a cinnamon roll and ice cold milk. Yum, yum.

Got to get going. Been nice writing to you.

Have a nice day everyone.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Now isn't this like we Americans? Complain about privacy................ yeah.

Just a short update on what Cheryl and I are doing. The past two days we spent driving around the area finding and looking at fishing res??? places. In one day we found 12 places with fair to good fishing all within 35 miles or so of the house. Since that got me all excited Cheryl agreed to let me purchase a pontoon boat. Now I am really excited. If I start catching fish like I hope it will be orgasmic. (I can't believe I actually said that.)

Today we went to the Mormon temple in Logan, Utah and attended a session. Then we spent the day shopping, one of my most favorite things to do............NOT!!! My back was hurting so bad that I had to ride the little electric buggys around the store which made me look like a wuusss. Big old healthy looking guy making those poor little old ladies hoof it. NYAH, NYAH. I got to it first.

Oh, by the way Pamela I am trying to decipher just what you meant about spending the weekend with the marines. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Spicy old broad anyway.

Vacation time is over and tomorrow I hit the road again. My boss told me to hang on cause I will be running my buttocks off. I don't mind though cause it will only last another two months and then summertime hits and no work.

Let me see if I have a story or poem to leave you with.

Where Are the Wicked Folk Buried?
'Tell me, grey-haired sexton,' said I,
'Where in the field are the wicked folk laid?
I have wandered the quiet old graveyard through,
And studied the epitaphs, old and new,
But on monument, obelisk, pillar, or stone,
I read no evil that men have done.'
The old sexton stood by a grave newly made,
With his chin on his hand, his hand on a spade:
'Who is the judge when the soul takes its flight?
Who is the judge 'twixt the wrong and the right?
Which of us mortals shall dare to say
That our neighbor was wicked who died to-day?'
'In our journey through life, the farther we speed,
The better we learn that humility's need
Is charity's spirit that prompts us to find
Rather virtue than vice in the lives of our kind.'
'Therefore good deeds we record on these stones;
The evil men do, let it rest with their bones'
I have labored as sexton this many a year,
But I never have buried a bad man here.'
-- From "Journal of the Association for the Preservation of the
Memorials of the Dead in Ireland," Vol. 2, Part 1 (1895)

Have a nice day everyone.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

You know I am not a political minded person but sometimes you see things that are just too good to pass up. It states it so well.

I must say thanks to Iran for releasing the British sailors. Of course I must also say that if you didn't the British would kick your ignorant arses.

I feel so good today. Gasoline just went up another 5 or 6 cents. Thank you oil companies for making impossible for the little people to take vacations due to high gasoline prices. Thank you Senators and Representatives for sitting on your collective arses and doing nothing about it. We elected you on your promise to do better and you have fulfilled our wildest dreams by not listening to a thing we say. All of you are rich people and could care less about the poor or lower middle class. Gosh, just think it won't be long until you can start telling your lies on TV and throughout the country. We love it and will keep electing you. Why? Because the other guy or woman is worse,in our opinion. If our elected officials are our best it makes me shudder to think of what the worst would be like.

How did I get on this kick anyway? Must be Luce's fault.

Went fishing, caught one, he got away... maybe it was a she. Miserable weather.

A friend of mine sent me this about a school in West Virginia and it is just too good to pass up. Enjoy.


You cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes
written by parents in a WV school district. Spellings have been left

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please
execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered
by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre
dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea,
and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because
i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to
get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We
thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has
been sick and under the doctor.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

Have a nice day everyone.