Isn't this a gorgeous picture? I make butterflies out of 2 liter soda bottles and this will definitely be one of my patterns.

Well the weekend is over and I hope everyone made it back home safely and soberly. Lots of barbeques going on and good food consumed. Me, I got a bowl of cold cereal, a cold hot dog and a comment to be grateful for what I got or I could fix my own. (Just kidding) We didn't do much this past weekend. Went to our daughters place in Paradise, UT and visited with them for an afternoon but that was the highlight of our weekend. Cheryl is out of school and just bursting with projects to get done around the house. I am trying to find something to put in her food so she will slow down and let me get my rest.

I bought a pontoon boat over a month ago and it has yet to see the water. Either the wind has been blowing like all the politicians in Utah are talking at once or I have been off doing other things. Maybe this week.

Now listen, the squirrel remedy is supposed to work and I am sure hoping so because I need to keep them out of my garden. Last year they mowed down my beet tops like a lawn mower. I know if you hang a 3/4 can of beer where wasps and yellowjackets are they are attracted to the beer and drown themselves. Of course they do it with a large smile on the faces.

I don't know if my sister Aleaha reads these anymore since we don't hear from her anymore. If she didn't read my blogs I would share some family secrets... NOT!!

Well Cheryl says I have to clean the garage today, finish planting the garden and still do my 200 names of indexing. She plans on taking it easy. Sure wish some of you folks would get involved in genealogy and help with this indexing of the 1900 census. It is a BIG project and open to anyone.

Just got a chance to watch the movie Eragon and it was good. However after reading both the books the movie leaves out sooooooo much that I felt I missed too much. Oh well. Tonight is another John Wayne movie... yeah THE DUKE!!! There will never be another John Wayne, never. Rough, tough, lover of horses, sometimes mean to the bone and yet cool, suave and romantic for the women. Oh yeah, the Duke.

Here is another tip about taking care of ticks should you happen to be out in the woods and gather some.
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Tick Warning

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it
myself a couple times unintentionally... but this one is real, and it's
important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks
due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance
around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want
to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this email yesterday. I feel so stupid.
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Have a nice day everyone.

Just a brief note. I was visiting Pamela's site and wanted to pass on some information if so desired. To keep squirrels out of the bird feeder just sprinkle black pepper around or in the feeder. Birds cannot tell it is there but squirrels don't like the smell and will not go near it. Just a thought. That clematis is beautiful. Will it grow in cold country (5000 ft)? My wife would love that.
Behave yourself this weekend.

Since a certain young woman I know of is going camping this weekend, and from the description of the food supply she will probably wander out into the wilderness and pick up some ticks; I thought she should know this information. Hmmmmmmm.
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Subject: Removing Wood Ticks


This is a good thing to know for any of us living, picnicking, camping

or just being in the woods etc. At least it is worth a try.



Please forward to anyone with children or hunters, etc!! Thanks!

A pediatrician tells he believes is the best way to remove a tick. This

is great, because it works in those places where it's sometimes difficult

to get to with tweezers: between toes, in the middle of a head full of dark hair, etc.

"Apply a glob of liquid soap to a cotton ball. Cover the tick with the soap-soaked

cotton ball and let it stay on the repulsive insect for a few seconds (15-20),

after which the tick will come out on it's own and be stuck to the cotton ball

when you lift it away. This technique has worked every time I've used it (and that was

frequently), and it's much less traumatic for the patient and easier for me.

Unless someone is allergic to soap, I can't see that this would be damaging

in any way. I even had my doctor's wife call me for advice because she had

one stuck to her back and she couldn't reach it with tweezers. She used

this method and immediately called me back to say, "It worked!"

Please pass on; everyone needs this helpful hint.
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Not much to say today so will close with this....

Have a nice day everyone.

Personally I prefer the "dead" part 'cause exercising is too painful.

I am not writing much today since I have to get busy and install a dishwasher for Cheryl. She doesn't know I got it for her so it will be a surprise. It just breaks my heart to see the poor woman washing and putting away dishes each night while I watch TV. I helped her out this morning though; I cooked breakfast, ( a bagle and cold cereal), and took the wet clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer. I am such a goooooooooood husband. Okay here goes:
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Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole & the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it-- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
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There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given
name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
morning, Onestone."
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from
exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone.

She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love
to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next
day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!


Wait for it





OH, Come on...take a guess!




Think about it...


(You're going to love this!)








And the moral is...





You can't kill two birds with one stone!!
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Ha,ha,ha,ha. I crack myself up.

Have a nice day everyone.

I woke up this morning and what did I see? Certainly not popcorn popping on the apricot tree. I went HO,HO,HO and a big BAH HUMBUG. It was snowing very large flakes. Sure glad I don't have to go out in this mess today. Actually we are very happy to see the snow. This has been a very dry winter and we have little snow pack to provide water for the crops and gardens.

Foam, I read your post about your experience when you were younger and it sent chills up and down my spine. My word girl, how fortunate to have your brother show up and the right time. Happenings of that nature just make my blood boil 'cause I can see my daughters, granddaughters in the same situation. Mercy!!!

By the way Foam, young buddy of mine, I liked the picture and with all the other hints you have provided I can tell you are a very attractive person. School teachers were not that good looking when I went to school so your students better appreciate you. My teachers were of the grandmother vintage and with the disposition of Oscar the Grouch. That was back in the days when they could lay hands on us for discipline and believe you me I had hands laid on me many times. They just couldn't see that I was truly a sweet loving little angel.

Pamela I have a question for you. Did you design the picture you have on your blog? It is quite a well thought out picture with you name written the way you did. By the way did I ever tell you that you are a very attractive lady also? Actually as I think about it all the ladies I blog with are very attractive, even the Australians.:) They are wild and attractive.

Well the snow is dwindling outside so I have to lie down just in case some burst of energy comes over me. Last night a group of us got together and sampled packages of dehydrated food to put in a 72 hour pack in case of emergencies. This food is found in sporting goods stores and was very tasty. This morning I prepared Cheryl a breakfast of scambled eggs and bacon using one of those packages. The eggs were quite good but the bacon... yech. I might have to go to town and check out what is available today. That sounds like more fun than working around the house.
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Tips from the Redneck Book of Manners


1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private
using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger food.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
(Always a good opener)
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as,"ya sure don't sweat much for a fat woman."

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession
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I apologoze if I have posted this before. My memory is failing and I have to do what I have to do or I will forget what to do if I remember what I want to do.

Mayden's Voyage, I don't know if you still visit me or not but if you do you will appreciate the Redneck Manners.

Have a nice day everyone.

Self Portrait

No message today. I know many of you are wondering just who the Rambling Irishman is so I decided to post a portrait of myself.






Have a nice day everyone.

Boy does this picture remind me of MY school days. We had desks that looked just like that.

I know all you educators are feeling somewhat sad because school is ending or has ended. No longer will you hear the pitter patter of little feet (or some big ones) running down the hall. No more will there be the constant yelling, screaming,laughing and some crying during recess. No more will you get to see the look of exasperation as one cannot quite grasp the concept you are teaching. And, then there is the look of "Oh yeah, I get it." which comes when a concept is realized. In Foam's case the pictures created and the variety of looks on a certain subject. Yep, you are probably already missing those little darlings and wish August would hurry up and get here.

What does a vacation do for you? You lie around and get a tan, weed your lawn and garden, go on long boring trips, put up with the spouse all day, do a little fishing, and life will be boring, boring, boring. Bring back school.

Okay I have had my say so will close with this that someone sent me. I don't know if it is true but it ought to be and I hope it is.
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SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

(This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent: Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work: Press 2

To complain about what we do: Press 3

To swear at staff members: Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you: Press 5

If you want us to raise your child: Press 6

If you want us to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone: Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year: Press 8

To complain about bus transportation: Press 9

To complain about school lunches: Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.

If you can read this, thank a teacher!

If you are reading it in English - thank a veteran!
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I was going to save this next little bit for another day but I liked it too much.

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How to speak Chinese in 3 minutes
Ok read the English meanings and then OUT LOUD say the chinese
words...
You MUST read them out loud or it doesn't make as much sense)...


1) That's not right........ Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.............. Kum Hiah Nah o
5) Small horse.................. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?.................... Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table................. Ai Bang Mai Fre Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...................... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here........................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching
12) staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile................ Wa Shing Kah
14) Your body odor is offensive.................. Yu Stin Ki Pu
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Have a nice day everyone.

I am sure most of you have seen this picture. I received it the other day and was so impressed that the flag is made completely out of flowers, living flowers.

It just dawned on me that I have not posted since Monday. I thought it was just yesterday. My how time flies when you are having fun; by fun I mean weeding, watering, planting and all sorts of "honey do's".

I was driving down the road the other week, (in my bus), and was watching the flies hit the window. Self, I thought, what a great subject for a blog.

Have you ever noticed that when you clean your windows one of the first bugs to hit it is a big, yellow something or other and it always hits dead center of your line of site. That way you have to keep moving your head to look around the gooey mess splattered all over the place so you can see the road better.

I just love driving through where the bees are busy at work. Stupid bees. One would think they would have enough intelligence to stay sucking on a delicious flower as opposed to checking out the speeding vehicle coming down the road. Oh no, they have to call all their little buddies and make a mass suicide attack so the vehicle is amply covered in their body parts.

Then there are the black flies that are just bigger than a gnat. They like to pepper the windshield like rain drops only they don't wipe off quite as well. I had one the other day that committed suicide and died a very happy bug. He hit at the top of the window and slid all the way down to the bottom with a big grin on his face. It reminded me of cartoons.

I cannot quit this drivel without speaking about the wasps. They are sneaky. They watch for drivers who are coming down the road with their windows open and their arm hanging out. Usually the shirt sleeve is flapping and makes a great scoop for wasps to enter into the shirt. How do I know this? Well I am a victim you see. I was driving along in an 18 wheeler one day and all of a sudden I felt a sharp burning sensation on my back. Not only did I feel it once but a total of three times. I slammed on the brakes, jumped out of the cab and started undressing right there in the middle of the road. Sure enough, a wasp had entered my shirt and was having lunch at Delaney's cafe. Well the food was bad cause he was never heard from again.

Okay, enough of the bug talk. I was out watering the lawn yesterday morning when two very large hawks flew up on a pole fairly close to me and proceeded to have a conversation. It was awesome. Turned out that one had caught a mouse and wanted the other to have it. Beautiful birds.

Bored yet? I am in a mood and could go on for a while if you wish.
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Just had this sent to me and thought I would share it. Good for those 40 or older and it even works in Australia.

Exercise for older adults.

Just came across this exercise suggested for older adults, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my friends. The article suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.

Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.
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Have a nice day everyone.

Cheryl says this is what I resemble when I want to be fed. Hmmmmmm.

I am officially fired for the year. My last trip got taken away from me because the bus broke down and there are no more trips this year. I cannot believe I am feeling somewhat blue about it. I have never enjoyed a job like I have enjoyed this one. Maybe summer will go really fast and I will be back behind the wheel before I know it.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. I would like to know if this is just a United States special day or do other countries celebrate Mother's Day as well?

We had a good time. On Saturday we went out to dinner and took in a movie, Spiderman 3. I promised Cheryl I would get her a new fishing pole (her request) but the stores were so crowded that we just didn't feel like doing it then.

We are finding that since moving to a small town we are becoming more and more removed from the hustle and bustle of the larger cities. I think we are getting old. We really enjoy setting at home and relaxing, going to the post office and watching some of the locals ride their horses through town, saying hi to most everyone we meet and doing some chatting with them. Yep, I like the small town lifestyle. Oh, it has it's problems too but we choose to ignore them.

I keep telling myself I don't know what I am going to do now that I have all this free time on my hands. Sure I could go and do yard work, work in the garden, paint the deck, paint the house, and so on but that doesn't sound like fun at all. One thing I will do is more indexing for genealogy. I have not been too active in that lately and I need to get going again. Actually I think I will go and lie down until this ambitious feeling goes away.

I think I will go get a bottle of red wine, put on some REAL good cologne, practice my best French accent and be ready for Cheryl comes she home from work. However I don't think any of that will work. I don't drink wine, I don't wear cologne, I'm Irish not French and Cheryl would just laugh and say here is a quarter call me in the morning. Sigh... keep on dreaming Timmy boy.

Have a nice day everyone.

Since this is Mother's Day weekend AND since I will be gone for the rest of the week I wanted to post the following on my blog for all of you who are or will be mothers. Happy Mother's Day from the Irishman.














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Have a nice day everyone.

This is an old picture of the ladies of my household, the year I don't remember.


This is a picture of the two youngest ones with their fiesty old mother. This picture was taken this year. What happened to my sweet innocent darlings?



This is a picture of the complete group of women that are in my life now, minus a daughter-in-law and one granddaughter. Great bunch if I do say so.

I took the baseball team to a competition last Saturday that was more fitted for skiing. The wind blew 30+ mph, the snow came, the rain came but the game went on. It was so cold that at the 4th inning I went and sat on the bus. No sense me getting frostbite is there? Wouldn't you know it but the next day was sunny and beautiful with no wind. I went to church and gave thanks.

I have to leave for another trip in just a few minutes so this will be short. Come May 24th and it all ends for this year. Unlike many teachers who are looking forward to school ending, I must say I will miss it and look forward to the fall. I have the best job I have had in years.

Let me see if I have anything worth leaving today...
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Understanding Engineers

For those of you who have difficulty understanding the engineer's mindset!!!

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
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Have a nice day everyone.

Well it finally happened. I had a feeling things were getting kind of too tense around here but Cheryl finally added the straw that broke the camel's back. We are filing for a divorce after 41 years of marriage.

Why, you might ask. Well, I will tell you that Cheryl is not the sweet loveable person everyone thinks she is that is why. She is mean and rotten right down to the very core. What she did to me this morning was inexcusable and there is no forgiveness.

Did she step out on me? Noooo. Did she physically abuse me? Nooooo. Did she mentally abuse me? Noooo, but it was something that will take me a long time to recover from. So what did she do that was so bad? SHE STOLE MY BACON!!! It wasn't a little piece, noooooo, it was the whole plate and then she laughed about it. I am so mentally distraught that I can hardly finish this blog. I just wanted to let you know so you could offer some words of comfort and good advice on how to handle the situation.

The worst part is that on Sunday I got up in front of a lot of people and told them what a wonderful woman she was. How am I going to face the embarrassment? (Have you ever noticed that the older you get the worse your spelling gets?)

I'm sorry but I just can't go on this morning and I had a wonderful blog planned.
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Golfing and a Frog

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers : Please scroll down.

...
...
...
...
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife .

Moral of the story: Women just think they're really smart.


Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
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Have a nice day everyone.