Personally I prefer the "dead" part 'cause exercising is too painful.

I am not writing much today since I have to get busy and install a dishwasher for Cheryl. She doesn't know I got it for her so it will be a surprise. It just breaks my heart to see the poor woman washing and putting away dishes each night while I watch TV. I helped her out this morning though; I cooked breakfast, ( a bagle and cold cereal), and took the wet clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer. I am such a goooooooooood husband. Okay here goes:
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Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole & the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it-- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
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There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given
name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
morning, Onestone."
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from
exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone.

She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love
to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next
day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!


Wait for it





OH, Come on...take a guess!




Think about it...


(You're going to love this!)








And the moral is...





You can't kill two birds with one stone!!
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Ha,ha,ha,ha. I crack myself up.

Have a nice day everyone.