My Wife Really Has A Mean Streak

I don't know where I get all these pictures from. If someone sees them and says, "Hey, I sent that to him!", all I can say is thank you and forgive me for not getting permission to use them.

As you can tell by the title of today's ramblings I have remembered when my wife was not so sweet and loving, in fact she was a down right rotten person.

We were living in Riggins, Idaho and decided one day to go fishing at a spot everyone had told us about. To get to this "real good" fishing hole we had to walk about two miles down into a canyon, but the trail was a real good one. Before we even got to the trail we had to drive down a VERY steep hill. I was on my dirt bike and Cheryl was following in our 1953 Chervrolet pickup. (Sure wish I had that one back) As I was descending down the hill she kept getting closer to my rear tire with the pickup. I looked back and made a motion for her to back off; she just smiled and waved at me like, "Hi dear, yes I see you too." When we got to where we could park I started to give her an Irish blessing in a truck drivers language. She said, "But I had the brake on all the way. The hill was too steep." Women drivers.

We then proceeded down the hill to the river far below. Naturally it was a warm day but the going was easy and I never gave it another thought. After spending several hours catching nothing but ghost fish we decided to get out of there. Now the scenario changed. We had two miles of nothing but uphill climbing to do and good trail or not it was not easy. I, being the pig that I am, had eaten all my lunch, drank all my water and had eaten the orange we had brought. I had nothing for liquid.

As we were climbing I, of course, got extremely thirsty. Now Cheryl had used a little wisdom and had saved some of her water and her orange. I begged, I pleaded and I groveled for a drink which she relented and let me have a sip or two. This was before we had even got one half the way up. When we reached the half-way point I was again begging for a drink but Cheryl, being the inconsiderate person she can be, had drank all her water. Ah, but she still had the orange. "Please, please, please." I begged. "Just a tiny slice." No sir, she was not sharing.

Three quarters of the way up I was in my death thros. (Not sure of the spelling) Cheryl would take a tiny slice of that orange, hold it up in front of me and then place it in her mouth. Oh, she was so lucky I did not have a gun. My mouth was pure cotton by then, my legs were trembling and I was so dehydrated I know I could not sweat but did that appeal to her kindness. Oh no!!

You know what that rotten woman did? She held up one of the last two slices of orange and made me agree to do something very special for her if she would give me a slice. I was so desparate that I agreed. I don't remember what it was but knowing her it was probably a new dress that cost at least $50. She is so rotten.

We got to the top of the trail and still had to get out of the place where we had parked the pickup. The hill was so steep that I had it in granny gear and even then the wheels would slip and the truck would bounce from bucking. Now the bad part was that it was a very steep canyon wall we were trying to go up and the truck kept trying to slide over to the edge. Nothing but sagebrush between us and the river far, far below. We made it obviously, or I would not be telling the story today, but I never went there again.

We found out later from those who had gone there and fished that they always leave water about half way down for the return trip. No gun that day either.

So there you have it. The true nature of my wife came out that day which lets me know when things are tough she will turn on me like a viscious animal. Anytime I get to bugging her about something I want she just lets me know the story of the orange and for some reason I shut right up. If anyone ever meets my wife don't let the sweet innocent nature of her fool you. Deep down she is MEAN, MEAN, MEAN.